Life has been super stressful of late. What am I talking about, we have 4 kids, a Springer Spaniel dog who works on his own time and commands and three business between me and Mr Moz so its always been a pretty stressful affair. But the stress has been giving it its ALL. On New Years Eve I was scrolling on the socials as you do, and on repeat all I kept seeing was it was that 2025 was going to be an amazing year for the Virgo – I thought finally, it’s me, its my time to shine, I felt like I was sat in my first school assembly crossed legged on the hard wooden floor waiting to be called to the front to collect a certificate – it was finally the year I was going to catch a break and shine. So 2025 rolls in and its been a car crash. It was indeed my time to shine, but not in the way I had assumed, my mind and body resembled Alfie’s school shoes come July, the sole hanging off, toes sticking out, dull, scuffed and basically ready for the bin. I had to find a way to bring myself back to life and shine through when I looked and felt like those school shoes.
Pensioner Bashing….
An epic low was having to admit I was struggling to cope with the cortisol surge in my body, that was making me a fearless, aggressive, and a hot headed twat – having to go to the Doctors and explain that I had already had a punch up in the dog food shop, and I nearly headbutted a pensioner for giving my dog a dirty look. I had temporarily lost my actual mind and needed help. (The doctors gave me crack head tablets which did in fact not help) so I had to again ride this wave on my own and find a way to cope.
The only thing that bought me a slice of peace was to be alone. No noise, nobody talking to me, no jobs and to-do lists, no meal plans, no work worries, to just sit, exhausted and alone and breathe. I tried to do this several times a day, and even several times an hour if I could, to reset my mind – but the kids had other plans. Someone ALWAYS needed me to look at something, watch something, make food, do their washing, give them a lift, someone always wanted me, meaning I just couldn’t get a seconds peace.
I am not ashamed to admit it, It was 7.50am on a school morning and I already needed 10 minutes alone time, or this morning I needed a phone call with my mom, to put the worlds to right, to just rant. Unfortunatly, The youngest had other ideas and was hovering in my personal space, lurking, breathing all over me. “What do you want??” I have no idea what his response was, I wasn’t listening, and truth be told I wanted to get rid of him, so I started the bidding.
“I will give you a Kit Kat if you leave me alone” this child is a strong negotiator, it quickly escalated to a can of Pepsi, a 2 finger Kit Kat and £1.25. Deal or no Deal. He took the deal and triumphantly left the room. If my kids dentist is reading this, just know, I really needed that 10 minutes peace, I will get him to floss his teeth tonight twice.
As parents, I don’t think we vocalize enough that we just need 5 minutes out, or a day off to go out with friends, or support from family, one decent nights sleep. I need all of the above and then some. I need to get off the ride of life, unstrap that seat belt and put my feet on Terra forma. Taking a break makes me a happier person, a calmer person, meaning I can be a better parent. I think it was a small price to pay for that 10 minutes of peace and alone time before the rest of the day bent me over and kicked me up the arse.
For the record, I was prepared to throw in a trip to disney land for that peace – I think I negociated well.
