Its day 3 of the summer holidays. Let’s just roll that on our tounges for a moment – day twatting 3 and the turd kids have actually broken me. This has to be a new world record set by any children who rage war against a parent in the summer holidays. It’s day fucking 3!!!!
AND to rub salt in my more than wide open wounds I stupidly thought I had it all under control – Hell I was walking around with a smug grin on my face thinking I actually had all of my shits under control – What a massive TWAT.
I just happened to stumble aimlessly into the downstairs spare room – now admittedly this does need some level of sorting as we’re planning to turn it into a bedroom BUT it was organised and tidy and I knew where shit was. I was winning at one tiny aspect of my life – the house was clean and tidy – my mind was calm.
Enter the terrorists!!! In one small window of opportunity, they destroyed my life – they actually broke me – 3 days and this is what they did!
Of course, I handled it as any perfect parent would… I lost all my shits over and over again until I had no more shits to lose – I canceled next weeks holiday, I threatened them with the black bag and wheelie bin (a personal favorite) and a little threat I like to save for special occasions That I will end up in hospital and who will be there to make the jam sandwiches then hey!!!
For a more dramatic finish, I stomped to the shower screaming that if anyone dare interrupts my shower I am running away and leaving home for good. Parenting Gold!
I think my breakdown was understood – Firstly it was the most amazing 10 minutes of un-interrupted shower time I have had in 11 years, so much so I even shaved without having to explain why mommies get hair there (FML)
Cooler, calmer and slightly more collected, I come to my bedroom to find presents and an “‘I’m sorry letter.” For now, I have decided not to move out – This time and reminded them whilst I am a girl who loves presents I also love a clean house more.
Kids 1
Momma 0
