Its 7.30am. That’s a great time to wake up isn’t it, quite respectable. But I have been awake since 4am, again which is bearable if you are going on holiday which I clearly am not. That sweet-faced boy I forgave yesterday for being a Turd at times – well he decided at 3am that my bed was the place for him, he came into…
Firstly I need to apologise as this post is going to contain lots of swear words as that’s the sort of morning I have had. It has not been particularly eventful it’s just another normal shitty Friday trying to get two kids to school and me to work. Reluctantly I peel myself off my bed – it was like peeling…
Hallelujah, praise be, I think nearly every woman in the nation rejoiced when Bojo finally said the beauty salons could reopen. I mean of course, there are rules, you can’t get ya brows or lashes done but by all means get ya Bush waxed, go for your life with a vajazzle. The nails can finally be sorted and don’t even…
Right. I get this is a crap photo and a different kinda post for me, BUT I have to get some shit off my chest! A few weeks ago, my dad, not to subtly implied I was overweight/obese (The Prick), this small comment has sat so heavy on my heart (and gut) and has made me second guess myself since.…
Post Exercise Pain
I can’t believe I am about to say this, Lockdown has finally turned me mental. This really isn’t my style but yesterday I did a WORKOUT. A fucking workout. I actually died, more than once and that was only in the warmup. I had bile sat in my mouth for 35 out of the 40 minutes. I had sweat dripping down my chubby…
We’re gonna talk time. Not normal time or ‘1 mins Turkish mate’ oh no. A whole new level of time that my son does. I am quite sure he does this to wind me up, to the point of mouth foaming and hair pulling. Kids, if you want to near on kill your parents and ensure they have to triple…
So. So. So. So. The short version of this story goes as follows… As you all probably know I’ve been in a bad way with my neck recently and trying to carry on through all the pain just got too much. I tried every prescription drug going from morphine to tramadol and nothing touched the pain. (We all remember the…
The only day I don’t bring a coat to work and I’m locked out my own office!! Just me, my smoothie and my daughter’s pushchair and baby as she insisted she could not spend another day at home alone 🙈
Alfie has been pushing our parenting buttons of late with his new found enthusiasm for shouting swear words. We have quite an open policy with questions when it comes to the kids and encourage them to have the confidence to ask us anything they want to on all subjects.Alfie takes full advantage of this possibly being the youngest, possibly being…
Its day 3 of the summer holidays. Let’s just roll that on our tounges for a moment – day twatting 3 and the turd kids have actually broken me. This has to be a new world record set by any children who rage war against a parent in the summer holidays. It’s day fucking 3!!!! AND to rub salt in…